Review: Zombie Apocalypse

Hope you didn’t stay home today expecting the Zombie Apocalypse. It was an epic failure.

It started after 5 p.m. while it was still daylight. Instead of a large horde moving slowly down the middle of the street, as shown in the documentaries, they all stayed on the sidewalks in small groups and went door-to-door. There wasn’t any slow movement or moaning from them at all – just a lot of running and giggling.

A bunch of them knocked on my door. I was surprised that they were very short in person. I was surprised that they spoke. I was surprised that they asked for candy and not my brain. When I waved my arms and screamed at them to fight them off, they just started to cry and ran away.

Finally, as darkness approached, instead of staging one large assault on the neighborhood, they just seemed to wander off or got into cars and appeared to be driven home.

Hope the undead put together a better plan if they want to overthrow society next year.

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Thanks for reading! Stay tuned as “Unsuccessful Younger Brothers” looks at the life of Nostrildamus.

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